


fight or flight mode

by George_Benji



Series: Bad Things Happen [4]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Abuse, Choking, Confinement, Suicide, minor alfreyco
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2019-12-01
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:00:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21638485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/George_Benji/pseuds/George_Benji
Summary: “We’re both monsters…"
Series: Bad Things Happen [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1562848
Comments: 3
Kudos: 15





	fight or flight mode

**Author's Note:**

> no flamez xoxo

Ryan isn’t allowed in the Fake’s penthouse.

Rather… the  _ Vagabond _ isn’t allowed in the Fake’s penthouse.  _ Ryan _ is actually a pretty cool dude. But that doesn’t matter anymore.

When you’ve held down one of your best friends and pushed a blade into his skin… those things stick with people. When you lift your friend up by his collar and tug a rope as tight around his neck as you can… When you cup your hand perfectly around his head and then send it careening into a wall. 

You’re not generally allowed into their home after that.

It’s Gavin’s birthday, and it’s been almost four now since the last time the Vagabond told him he was worthless and would be better off dead. This means that the whole crew is celebrating at the penthouse while Ryan sits in his apartment and thinks about everything he’s ever done and everything he could have ever done to fix it.

Ryan’s sat at his couch, playing Halo and wishing that he was anyone but himself.

His apartment is just down the hall from the main penthouse and he can hear the muffled sounds of people partying. Someone knocks on Ryan’s door and he can’t remember if he locked it or not.

Trevor pops his head into the room.

“Hey, missing all the fun?” he laughs a bit before inviting himself to stand awkwardly inside Ryan’s living room.

Ryan shrugs.

“The parties starting to die down now. They- Well Jeremy and Gavin are still partying but pretty much everyone else is almost ready for bed… I’m really sorry you have to sit out here.” Trevor runs a hand through his hair to push it back.

“It doesn’t really matter. I’m better over here anyway. Not good with crowds. Where’s your other half though?”

Trevor just shrugs again, “She’s with Michael and Geoff and them. Still partying, but not as strong. I got kind of overwhelmed to tell you the truth. I just had to step out.”

“Oh.” Ryan nods and turns his attention back to them game. When Trevor just sways there he adds, “You can come sit if you want.”

Trevor nods and plops himself next to Ryan. “Y’know, uh… I know I don’t come to just talk to you super often- I’m always swamped with crew work- but I uh… I like when you get to come into the penthouse. It’s fun. I’m sorry it doesn’t happen more often.”

Ryan feels like something’s dropped. He can’t quite place what it is. “It’s whatever, honestly. As long as they’re safe and happy and having fun I don’t really give a shit.”

“Yeah… I think we’d all love to have you there though.”

“But I’m not. Because I’m  _ evil _ and I’m the  _ bad one _ . I’m a demon, I’m an abuser, and my worst offence? A bad fucking friend.”

Trevor’s very quiet for a moment, and then clears his throat. “Have I ever talked to you about what I did before I joined the crew? What happened to me?”

Ryan gives him a side-eye and a raised eyebrow.

“I was on a smaller team. Just three of us. The other guy was in charge, my boss, and the girl was my best friend. We joined a different crew, five of them. A goofy guy in charge of electronics, honestly kind of like Gavin, a mean old bastard of a medic, and some really great women. Two of them were in charge of their crew and the other was just super into electronics.” Trevor takes a shaky breath. “Three of those people are dead now. Both of the others from my crew, and the mean old bastard from others. We all got really hurt at some point during our time together.”

“I don’t mean to interrupt you, but I really don’t see what this has to do with me.”

“My boss… he died because of me. My best friend? Also died because of me. I was there to keep things in check and order and make sure nothing happened to them. Then my boss tried to kill one of the bosses from the other team and I switched sides. I couldn’t trust him after that and me not trusting him is what lead to his death. My best friend… she… It doesn’t matter anymore but she needed me and I wasn’t there.” Trevor wipes at his eyes, but keeps a stony expression. “What I’m trying to say is that my past isn’t clean. I’ve done horrible shit too. To the people who I cared most about or held dearest.”

Ryan’s no longer playing his game. Instead he’s watching Trevor.

“We’re both monsters… But that’s okay. We still deserve love, and we still deserve to grow past this.” He claps Ryan on the shoulder and gets up to head out of the door.

“Trevor-” Ryan can’t tell what he’s feeling, but it’s something. “I don’t think you’re a monster. That was a long time ago and yeah, it sucks but you don’t deserve to be called a monster for it.”

Trevor smiles but it rings a bit bitter and then he’s out of the room.

Later that night, the party all but died down, Ryan’s watching the news. 

The story switches and the broadcaster has a grave expression on her face.  _ “And now we have a heavy story to talk about. This story is still developing and we will be reporting as it develops. One of Los Santos’s biggest businessmen has been accused of domestic assault and-” _

A picture of Trevor’s face is shown on the screen and Ryan’s heart drops. He goes to run for the door of his apartment, but it’s  _ gone _ . There is no door.

Ryan can hear screaming and yelling from the penthouse down the hall. Alfredo is hysterical.

Ryan rams his shoulder into the wall where his door should be as hard as possible but nothing budges.

Alfredo’s screaming is completely unintelligible until the clear shout of  **“HE’S DEAD- HE’S GONE- WHAT DO WE DO NOW?!”**

Ryan’s blood runs cold and he doesn’t know how he knows it but he knows that Trevor’s body was just found.

**Author's Note:**

> no this is me trying to process my own grief. uh. sorry.


End file.
